For once, Boris is keeping his hands on his own thighs ...   

Mr Unreliable [?] from his glass house, throws stones at Mr Untrustworthy.  The Times reports: Nigel Farage launched an outspoken attack on Boris Johnson’s Brexit chief at No 10 yesterday, accusing him of being untrustworthy. The Brexit Party leader said that Dominic Cummings, a former head of Vote Leave who is now arguably the most important Downing Street official, was not a “true...

The advent of Boris has placed Scottish Tories up a certain creek without a paddle.  The Times explains: Once upon a time — though not all that long ago, in fact — the Scottish Conservatives launched what was ungallantly dubbed “Operation Arse”; they would do whatever it took to sink Mr Johnson’s chances of becoming prime minister. And for good reason, for they could see the...

Compare and contrast these Times reports Here: More than 17,500 boys aged 14 have carried or used a knife or other weapon, according to research for the Home Office. A judge who jailed two boys after the death of another 17-year-old boy has condemned a “warped culture” in which possessing a knife is seen as “cool and aesthetically pleasing”. A report looking at people born in 2000 and...

The Guardian reports - In his acceptance speech, Johnson said his task “at this pivotal moment in our history” would be to “reconcile two noble sets of instincts – between the deep desire for friendship and free trade and mutual support and security and defence between Britain and our European partners; and the simultaneous desire, equally heartfelt, for democratic self-government in this...

 

From The Guardian - here Fire up the campaign montage, then, and let’s have a look at Boris Johnson’s best bits. Over the past four weeks alone – three-and-three-quarters of which he was kept in a padded black site by his carers in case he accidentally said piccaninnies or bumboys or fucked the help or something – Johnson has: failed to defend the UK’s most senior ambassador against...

The Times analyses the Boris Brexit strategy: Mr Johnson says he possesses not just “an understanding of government” but also “a very clear picture of how to get it done”. This amounts to preparing for a no-deal Brexit while saying you don’t want a no-deal Brexit. It is akin to arguing that, gosh, shooting myself in the foot is a bad idea but even so it is very important to keep the...

 

Our next Prime Minister?     

The EU appears to be in the hands of the wrinklies. Christine Lagarde 63 Ursula von der Leyen 60 Josep Borrell 72 Are they fit enough for all those late nights of Brussels haggling? Although the putative President of the Council, Charles Michel, is a mere stripling at 43. It remains to be seen if the Parliament will agree to these appointments.  

The Indepemdent reports - There’s been another round of Tory leadership hustings. Boris Johnson’s position on Brexit is still meaningless garbage. He still wants to “disaggregate bits of the withdrawal agreement”. He still wants to deal with the Irish border question “during the implementation period”, all the while continuing to have “frictionless trade” with the European...

... promising the impossible.  The Guardian reports Johnson first doubled down on his commitment to leaving on 31 October in an interview with Talkradio, saying he was in no way reneging on his firm pledge. “We are getting ready to come out on 31 October. Come what may,” he said. Asked to confirm this, he added: “Do or die. Come what may.” He then said he would scrap Theresa...

 A fine example of wishful thinking.  The Times reports Donald Trump has rejected claims he is unpopular in the UK, saying he believes he is “loved” by the British people as he prepares to start a three-day visit....“I don’t imagine any US president was ever closer to your great land,” he said. “Now I think I am really — I hope — I am really loved in the UK. I certainly...

Over fifty years old and still pure gold.

 

President Trump ... "I'm an extremely stable genius. OK?” ... perhaps not so accomplished when it comes to modesty.

The Times reports: Paddy Power’s never done political correctness. So no big shock to see the bookie price up the next politician to get “milkshaked”. It has Nigel Farage 2-1 favourite to make it a double, followed at 3-1 by Tommy Robinson — now on a hat-trick after two strawberry affairs earlier this month. Boris looks a rather generous 10-1. And maybe this sort of thing shouldn’t...

Red Box reports comments on the sacking of Private Pike aka the Defence Secretary: One cabinet minister said within minutes of the news breaking: "It didn't take Miss Marple did it?" Another cabinet minister said: "Who would have thought it was him? Apart from everyone who knows him." "He has form for this," said a third. "He has made a complete prat of himself."      

The Guardian reports: Sainsbury’s results, released this morning, show that the company burned through £46m in costs on the Asda deal before competition regulators torpedoed it last week. Like-for-like sales fell 0.2% last year, while profits shrank from £309 to £219m. Perversely, Sainsbury's share price has risen by over 4.5% this morning. I will never understand the stock market ...  ...