Last week, as the rest of the world took drastic measures to stop the spread of coronavirus, Boris Johnson advised us to stay in if we had a cough, and not go on a cruise. To be fair, these are both excellent pieces of advice. He might have added: “Furthermore, I advise to always keep a cactus in the sunlight, and don’t put piranhas in a kiddies’ paddling pool.”

Back then, he believed in...

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